Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
