Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Ketchup is God's man juice
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
