so that wasnt chicken after all
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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