don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
