White coat. Heels.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
