At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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