I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
