Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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