question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i believe in u and ur pee
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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