i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
