I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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