I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
