i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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