Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
