My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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