Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
