Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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