Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
