dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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