You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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