Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
