elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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