That's intense
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
