So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
