the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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