Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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