her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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