What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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