I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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