My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
