Plan B is the new Plan A
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
