i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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