I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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