We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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