i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
