jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
