ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
