So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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