I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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