drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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