Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
