I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
