My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
