Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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