I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
