There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
