I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
