OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
