My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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