This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
