I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
