his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
