Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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