Sponge bath it is.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
