They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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