i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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