Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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