Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
