1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
